The Marks I Can't Erase

When you come to mind, I don’t know
whether to laugh or cry.
Whether to regret all the memories
or cherish them.
So much time we spent together,
laughing, loving, being friends.

Half the time
I regret ever knowing you,
ever forming all those memories
that now bring pain.
Pain
because we can never have that again.

And then at times
I treasure that friendship,
for the brilliance of
the moments recalled.

I don’t know my feelings
of your part in my life.
Yet, how can I treasure
the pain that friendship brought me?
The tearing sorrow
that left my heart in pieces.

Yet, that pain
has built me up,
made me stronger.
Tore apart the old me,
to build a better person.
How can I truly regret
your footprints on my life?
The marks you have left
that I cannot erase.

Source: I wrote this for a creative writing assignment, and I cannot remember at all what the assignment was.