I Wish I Didn't Care

I Wish I Didn’t Care

I wish I didn’t care
When you walk in the room
That you were not the sunshine
That brightens up my gloom

I wish I never noticed
The color of your eyes
And that I hadn’t picked you
Out of all the other guys

I wish the sound of your voice
Didn’t make my knees go weak
That when I hear your laugh
My day becomes less bleak

I wish I didn’t care
When you talk to other girls
That thinking of you with them
Didn't put my head in whirls

I wish I never let myself
Fall for you so hard
I wish that I could learn
To not let down my guard

You’d think I’d learn my lesson
I’ve been through this before
I’ve told myself a million times
I’d deal with this no more

But somehow I can’t listen
To my head and change my ways
And I only hear the words
That my mistaken heart says

But now my heart it wonders
Why it does this every time
When all I do is fall from
These heights I quickly climb

And so I tear my eyes away
Each time I want to stare
And repeat to myself
That I simply just won’t care.

My Path is Up to Me

I walk along a shaded path
At times the beauty shines
And other times the path is dark
And almost seems to bleak
I’m coming to a crossroads soon
A place where the path splits
Ad in my mind I see the path
That follows from each choice

In one direction I will find
All my good dreams come true
The sun shines bright
The birds sing out
And colors ring more true
Down the second path I find
The same is not quite true
Although there still is beauty
The birds don’t sing as loud
The colors are a little dulled
The sun not quite as bright

So which road will I travel on
The choice is up to me
But the choice is not so simple
As it may seem to be
Somewhere behind me on the path
There is a power there
That pushes me to make a choice
To go the second path

Since the day I passed the point
Where lurks that hidden power
I knew one day it would hold me back
From where I wished to be
So now I push against that power
I try to test it’s strength
And as I push against it
My own strength seems to grow

As so as I grow closer
To that fork that lies ahead
That push it loses power
And I learn to lift my head
And look towards that first path
For I strive to overcome the push
Towards the second one

My hope is getting stronger
With each step I take ahead
That when I reach the point at which
Diverging roads I find
I’ll turn and take the first path
Where the sunshine calls my name
Where birds sing out and colors glow
Where all good dreams come true

Source: This is a fun story, I wrote this poem while working at Walmart mostly while I was on the self-checkout registers. I was bored and was just thinking and this poem started to take form, so I wrote it on some extra receipt tape paper.

You Can Touch My Heart

Around my heart I’ve built a wall
Keeping it safe
Safe from being hurt
But alone,
Apart from others

Afraid to trust
I push others away
I can’t trust their love for me
By habit I turn away
From their outstretched arms

All who reach for me
Find that wall
And cannot breach it’s width
All except one person
Somehow, you can touch my heart

Something in your eyes,
In your words
In your support
Tells me you are different
You are safe

Your love I can trust
The only one that I never
push away
I allow you to be
My shoulder to cry on

I never doubt you
Never doubt that you love me
Somehow with you
My habit is broken
I don’t turn away

You are the only one
I turn to without reserve
And in my trust of you
I see a chance
To overcome a habit

If you can touch my heart
And I remain unhurt
Maybe others can too
And through your love
I find my tools

The tools to break a habit
To tear down a wall
Learning how to trust
How to stand
Instead of turning away

Source: I wrote this the other day because I was thinking about some things in my life.

If I Could Take Your Pain Away

If I could take your pain away
And heal your broken heart
I’d surely do it just for you
Today I’d make my start.

I’d help you learn to trust again
And not to be afraid
I’d stand there by your side all day
As you learned to be brave

I’d help you realize your mistakes
Won’t matter in the end
As long as you can let them go
And not do them again

If I could take your pain away
And open your eyes to see
That superficial doesn’t matter
Then I would set you free

I’d like to help you see your strengths
Instead of all your flaws
Then maybe you could overcome
What holds your life at pause

I’d help you realize that one day
You’ll find the special one
And teach you not to give up yet
You’ve only just begun

If I could take away your pain
Of all the lonely years
I’d take away the memories
That almost cause you tears.

I’d like for you to realize that
The problem wasn’t you
That the others don’t know how to judge
What makes a person true

I’d help you see that in the end
Your worth is just as great
And that you’re just as special as
The one who got the date

If I could take away the pain
That my friends suffer through
I’d gladly do it all right now
My love for them is true

It’s not hard for me to trust the pow’r
Of the love I have for them
That I could care, or do that much
To help them through the end

And yet when I go through my pains
It’s hard for me to see
That someone out there cares that much
For little worthless me

I see their worth, but not my own
And so I can’t believe
That someone very powerful
Wants to be my reprieve

So moments when I need it most
I cannot seem to see
The person who is standing there
And saying this to me

I’m here to take your pain away
To heal your broken heart
If you’ll just let me in your life
Today I’ll make my start.

I’ll teach you how to trust again
Help you when you’re afraid
I’m always here right by your side
Just trust me and be brave

I wish you knew that your mistakes
Were long ago forgiven
Once your path turned back to me and
Back to righteous living

I’m here to take your pain away
And open your eyes to see
That to me you are beautiful
Let that knowledge set you free

I’m here to show you how your strengths
Can overcome your flaws
I’m here to help you see the way
To live instead of pause

I’m here to help you realize that
I know you’ll find someone
I’m asking please don’t give up
For your life has just begun

I’m here to take the pain away
Of all your lonely years
I’ll soften every memory
I’m here to dry your tears

I’m here to make you realize that
The problem is never you
That those who really matter know
Your heart is pure and true

I’m here to help you see your worth
Your divinity so great
That those who see your true beauty
Would proudly be your date

I’m here to take away the pain
The sorrows and the tears
I’m here to heal your broken heart
To help you all your years

I’ve loved you so for many years
I knew you at the start
And because I know your true worth
You hold a place in my heart

I hope that now you realize that
My love for you is true
And with the power of my love
I did all I could do

I suffered all your loneliness
And all your tears I’ve cried
And then because I love you so
It was for you I died

Now I can take your pain away
Just open up your heart
And with the love I have for you
Today we’ll make a start

Source: I was thinking about everything my friends have to go through, and about how I had written in a while, when I decided to write something about how I wish I could help my friends, and this was the result.

Dad

When I was young
I learned the songs
About the man called “Dad”
and I thought mine was just the best
that any child ever had

He taught me to bike
And then how to hike
And many other things
He held me close as the years passed
And I tested my wings

Sometimes I tried
To spread them wide
but he would hold me still
because he always knew whats best
and went against my will

So I’d get mad
And he’d get sad
And we’d get in a fight
Until I wisened up a bit
And saw that Dad was right

And still sometimes
I lose my mind
And forget what he knows
But patiently he loves me still
The right pathway he shows

The years have passed
I’ve had a blast
With Dad, my favorite man
But children grow, and they leave home
And pack the moving “van”

I waved goodbye
And with a sigh
I left his loving arms
And so my wings I finally spread
And moved into a dorm

The day will come
When I’m from home
That I will meet a lad
And soon I’ll love him just as much
As the man I call Dad

But even then
When both those men
Are the best to be had
I hope he knows how much I love
The man I call my “Dad”

And to the end
He’ll be my friend
My Daddy through all things
Because of him and all he taught
I’ve learned to use my wings.

Source: My Father's Day gift to my Dad was this peom

Mom

My little hand you held so tight,
As I first learned to walk
You dried my tears
Met all my cares
And taught me how to talk

When I would fall
You’d help me stand
And tell me, try again
Just don’t give in
Again, you’d hold me hand

I went to school, I learned to read
To multiply, and add
But it was you
Who saw me through
As I learned good from bad

Perhaps at times I couldn’t see
How much I needed you
Yet there you were
My constant cure
For all that I went through

So many times I turned to you
You saw me through it all
Through broken toys
And friends and boys
Your love helped me stand tall

And now so many years have passed,
I stand on my own now
When troubles come
I face them all
Because you taught me how

Yet still sometimes I turn to you
And still you hold my hand
You dry my tears
And meet my cares
Just like you always have

As years pass by and I recall
The memories we share
I think of you
And all you do
To show how much you care

And so to you, I give my thanks
For all you gave to me
For who you are
And who I am
And who one day I’ll be

I hope one day when you’ve grown old
And my own children come
I will have earned
Just like you did
The loving title, “Mom”

Source:Written as a gift to my Mom for mother's day

Release

Feeling suffocated,
Pressured, stressed, depressed.
Feeling like I’m going to break
Like I need a release.
A release of tears.

The feeling that I need a good cry,
Wanting it, willing it,
Wishing it would come.
So I could just let go.

Adding to the pressure,
Stress, sorrow, joy.
All the reasons I always cry,
My reasons for the release.

The tears won’t come.
What changed,
Have I cried so much
I no longer can
Not possible, crying is my release.

I need to be able to cry
But the tears won’t come.
Praying for the release.

Source:Written the summer before college, I was really emotional about some things and writing helped